reminder for bisexuals

lyricalred:

today is bi visibility day. as such, bisexual people will be completely visible for the next 24 hours. this is a bad day to engage in bank heists, ghost impersonations, covert operations for vague yet menacing government agencies, and other common bisexual hobbies that rely upon our powers of invisibility. 

reblog to save a life. 

(via sayasamax3)

queer yay bi visibility day

Anonymous asked:

please elaborate on how you got a substitute teacher to quit within one day. I'm genuinely curious.

Details, details Answer:

mysticmoonhigh:

mamalovebone:

all right everyone sit down, shut up and listen closely because I’m about to tell y’all the tale of Ms. Mormino.

Seventh grade is a time most people don’t look back on fondly. I know I sure don’t—I tend to regard that era as nothing more than an unpleasant, acne-filled haze of fall out boy and poor attempts at pseudo-zooey deschanel fashions. But enough about me. Let’s talk about my math teacher. 

Ms. Isom. Poor old Ms. Isom. Well in her 60’s, always plagued with some illness or injury, she was hardly ever even at school. Since many of her absences were the result of short-notice incidents—“falling down the stairs” was popularly cited— it wasn’t all that uncommon to not have a substitute on hand. Being a smartass honors class, we’d gotten away with several successful evasions of administration, walking cavalierly into class  to pass the next 48 minutes doing just about nothing. Hell, for good measure, we’d sometimes even toss in a friendly “hey, Ms. Isom!” if any administrators were anywhere within earshot. So incredibly anti-establishment, you could basically call it another Project Mayhem, except instead of Brad Pitt and Ed Norton concocting homemade bombs, it was a bunch of tweenyboppers with iPhone 3’s and Justin Bieber 2009 haircuts. 

 We got pretty accustomed to our own little self-governing system that rolled around every second period, so we naturally weren’t exactly thrilled when administration caught on to our little Anarchy Act and strictly enforced the presence of a substitute every day. 

Most of our subs weren’t terrible—most were friendly, gave us participation grades, and didn’t object to the independent attitude of our class (which, mind you, only had about ten students in it) 

That is, until Ms. Mormino came along. 

Four feet, ten inches of raw, undiluted evil, Ms. Mormino walked into class with a scowl on her face and a chip on her shoulder. When the girl behind me sneezed, Ms. Mormino’s immediate response was “NO INAPPROPRIATE NOISES!” 

 Although we all suppressed our laughter, we all knew from that moment on that, try as she might with her despotism and her draconian anti-sneeze policy, Ms. Mormino didn’t stand a chance. 

 The arguable beginning of the end for Ms. Mormino’s all-too-brief reign of terror was the moment I asked for a calculator; mine was broken. Mormino asserted that I could only borrow a calculator if I loaned her something of mine; at that moment, the girl next to me chimed in, saying she, too, needed a calculator. “I have a folder I can give you,” I offered. “I have a highlighter,” added the other girl. 

 At that moment, a puberty-creaking voice from the back of the room piped up. 

Max. 

We all know certain people have certain gifts. Michelangelo saw angels in every block of marble and devoted his life to setting them free; Einstein had a mind which saw the potential of the entire universe; F. Scott Fitzgerald wove intricate tales of decadence and depravity. Max, however, had a different kind of gift: he could make anything—anything at all—into a “that’s what she said” joke. More on that later, though. 

Max pried off a Nike sneaker and held it proudly in the air, like a coveted trophy. 

"I have a shoe." 

Tottering in one-shoe-one-sock, Max dumped the sneaker on Ms. Mormino’s desk, retrieved a calculator, then tottered back to his own desk, a sort of smirk playing on his face. And, as to be expected—the rest of us quickly followed suit. 

 A small pile of shoes on her desk, Ms. Mormino grit her teeth and glared at us as we all sat back down, quietly victorious, a calculator in each of our hands. It wasn’t long, however, until we all began to silently plot our next act of minor mayhem. 

"Can I go to the bathroom?" asked Tyler, who, despite being in seventh grade, was approaching his sixteenth birthday. In a combination of verism and admiration of Tyler’s devil-may-care boldness, we unequivocally accepted him as our leader. For reasons unknown, Ms. Mormino denied his request. Tyler, much like his Fight Club namesake, heeded no rules but his own and left anyway—Ms. Mormino, furious, locked the door behind him and smugly insisted that "administration will take care of him." 

Tyler, however, was not one to be caught, and stayed close by, appearing in the window of the door whenever Ms. Mormino wasn’t looking. Waving, smiling, laughing, making faces and obscene gestures, Tyler had us all in stitches, but cleverly avoided Ms. Mormino’s sight—when she asked us what was so funny, we all refused to give Tyler away. 

A girl asked to go to the bathroom, stating she “really really really” needed to go. Ms. Mormino, again, denied her request. Ms. Mormino, however, seemed to be uninformed about the side door—leading right outside, always locked from the outside but always open from the inside. 

"Well, I’ll go myself," the girl responded, and took off, hurdling three desks and darting out the door. Right behind her, two other students took off, pursuing freedom. The door slammed behind all three students, and they were gone. 

 Six of us were left. Among us, importantly, was Chris. 

Chris was thirteen, but looked half his age; scrawny, wiry, he probably measured in at about four-foot-three, but no taller. “Late Bloomer” are words that come to mind. 

Despite his diminutive size, Chris possessed the gall of someone like Tyler.

"I have to use the bathroom," said Chris, standing. 

 ”Do you think I’m going to allow you to go to the bathroom?” snapped Ms. Mormino. 

 ”It’s an emergency!” Chris pleaded. 

"Sit down," Ms. Mormino growled. 

Meanwhile, the entire class borders on hysteria. We have tears in our eyes, almost suffocating from choking back laughter. 

"It’s an emergency," repeated Chris, but it sounded more like a warning.

"Sit."

Silence. Silence, Silence and more silence, until we all began to notice a dark stain on Chris’s khakis. The stain grew. And grew. And grew.

 Fists at his sides, stoicism in his face, and a cold, proud, triumphant glint in his eye, Chris locked eye contact with Ms. Mormino. 

And pissed right in his pants. 

The entire class erupted into a laugh only comparable to the detonation of a bomb. 

We laughed so hard for the next five, ten, fifteen minutes straight that Ms. Mormino gave up. Surrendering, putting her head on her desk, she waited until the hysteria finally subsided. 

Finally looking up, defeated, pathetic, Ms. Mormino glared at us all and wailed: 

 ”This is too much, this is too hard, too hard, Jesus Christ, this is too much for me!” 

 A lone voice sounded from the back of the room. Guess whose it was.

"That’s what she said."

Ms. Mormino officially retired from teaching that afternoon.

FUCKING READ IT IT’S WORTH IT

XD XD XD LOL CAN'T STOP LAUGHING OMG school school sucks

mia-redworth:

How can people see Emma Watson being verbally attacked online and threatened with hacked nudes being released by men because of her speech on gender equality and still think we don’t need feminism. It’s not women who make men out to be some evil creatures, you guys do that well enough on your own.

(via pikayu)

feminism activism sigh

high school teacher: yeah i have a 4 year degree so you can call me Mr. Whatshisname and if you call me Frank that's disrespectful I'll give you detention for a week

college professor: hi i've got my Ph.D., i spent 10 years doing research, i have 7 patents and 26 published papers, and i was nationally recognized for my work. but you can call me Kim if you want.

lol school school sucks

heyhocloudy:


smashalash:


JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHY DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS CAT BEFORE
HER NAME IS TAMAAND SHE’S THE STATIONMASTER AT A TRAIN STATION IN JAPANSHE GREETS ALL THE PASSENGERSAND SHE HAS HER OWN OFFICEAND SHE’S PAID IN CAT FOODAND SHE IS A FUCKING EXECUTIVE OF A FUCKING RAILROAD STATION 
AND LOOK AT HER

the trains are decorated with cartoon versions of her since she’s their mascot as well


MAN YOU GOTTA TALK ABOUT THE TRAIN MORE TOO THOUGH!!
FOR ONE THERES A LITTLE LIBRARY INSIDE WITH CHILDREN’S BOOKS!!

AND TAMA THEMED COUCHES AND BACKBOARDS!!!



AND THE FRONT HAS WHISKERS!!!
TAMA IS SO POPULAR THAT TOURISM FROM TAMA BASICALLY BROUGHT THE ENTIRE TOWN BACK FROM THE BRINK AND SAVED THE RAIL LINE!!!
I MEAN CHECK THIS OUT!!

A TAMA CAFE!! AN ENTIRE TAMA GIFTSHOP!! TAMA NOTEBOOKS TAMA BAGS TAMA EARRINGS MORE TAMA STUFF I NEVER GOT PICTURES OF!! THERE IS SO MUCH TAMA !! THIS GODDAMN CAT!!

im sure ive reblogged this before but this cat makes me so happy

heyhocloudy:

smashalash:

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHY DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS CAT BEFORE

HER NAME IS TAMA
AND SHE’S THE STATIONMASTER AT A TRAIN STATION IN JAPAN
SHE GREETS ALL THE PASSENGERS
AND SHE HAS HER OWN OFFICE
AND SHE’S PAID IN CAT FOOD
AND SHE IS A FUCKING EXECUTIVE OF A FUCKING RAILROAD STATION 

AND LOOK AT HER

image

the trains are decorated with cartoon versions of her since she’s their mascot as well

image

MAN YOU GOTTA TALK ABOUT THE TRAIN MORE TOO THOUGH!!

FOR ONE THERES A LITTLE LIBRARY INSIDE WITH CHILDREN’S BOOKS!!

AND TAMA THEMED COUCHES AND BACKBOARDS!!!

AND THE FRONT HAS WHISKERS!!!

TAMA IS SO POPULAR THAT TOURISM FROM TAMA BASICALLY BROUGHT THE ENTIRE TOWN BACK FROM THE BRINK AND SAVED THE RAIL LINE!!!

I MEAN CHECK THIS OUT!!

A TAMA CAFE!! AN ENTIRE TAMA GIFTSHOP!! TAMA NOTEBOOKS TAMA BAGS TAMA EARRINGS MORE TAMA STUFF I NEVER GOT PICTURES OF!! THERE IS SO MUCH TAMA !! THIS GODDAMN CAT!!

im sure ive reblogged this before but this cat makes me so happy

(via hailhallucifer)

OMG HELLZ yeah kitties kitty X3 tama Japan

staff:

Happy National Voter Registration Day, Tumblr.
The number one way of celebrating it? Registering to vote.
Every year, millions of eligible Americans neglect to register, which means that millions of important voices are utterly silent on Election Day. Don’t be one of them. There’s basically a 100% chance that something you care about is on the ballot, something you don’t want to be quiet about.
So be one of the loud ones. Register already. It’s an easy form that you already know all the answers to. No excuses.

staff:

Happy National Voter Registration Day, Tumblr.

The number one way of celebrating it? Registering to vote.

Every year, millions of eligible Americans neglect to register, which means that millions of important voices are utterly silent on Election Day. Don’t be one of them. There’s basically a 100% chance that something you care about is on the ballot, something you don’t want to be quiet about.

So be one of the loud ones. Register already. It’s an easy form that you already know all the answers to. No excuses.

voting activism